her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
