I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
