That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
