Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize