Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
