I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
