yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
