So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
