It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
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BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
