Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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