do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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