I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My dick has a subreddit
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
