On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
