my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize