Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
