Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
