id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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