Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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