I accidentally burped into my bong.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
