I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
