oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
