she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
