I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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