The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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