do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize