wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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