Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
