Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
