I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
