So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize