Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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