Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
