..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
