so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
