My Higher Power is John Stamos
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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