i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
