Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
