there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
