I think I am morally bankrupt
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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