I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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