We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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