So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
