I think I am morally bankrupt
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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