I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
