I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
