So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize