I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
