i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
