He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
