I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize