Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
