you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Drunk is a universal language darling
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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