So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize