that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
