Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
