C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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