I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
