The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Fuck appropriateness.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
