I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
