What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
