i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize